9 Things to Do Instead of Complain
by Mark Jenney
Complaining is perhaps the most useless thing that we as humans do. It’s entirely unproductive, it’s potentially harmful, and it never makes anything better. Plus, when we complain, we tend to compound our negativity. As the revered motivator Zig Ziglar was fond of saying, “The more you complain about your problems, the more problems you will have to complain about.”
It’s easy to talk about not complaining, but it’s much harder to do. After all, if we shouldn’t complain, what should we do? We’ve got to replace that negative behavior with a positive one. The next time life forces you into a difficult situation, here are nine things to do instead of complain.
1. Say something nice. When you complain about something, especially as a way to initiate a conversation, you immediately cast negativity on everyone within earshot. Instead of bringing everyone down, raise them up by saying something positive. It can be a specific comment about someone’s work performance, a personal observation about something good, or just a remark about what great weather we’re having. Unlike lodging a complaint, saying something nice will make people smile, not stress.
2. Instead of focusing on the problem, focus on the opportunity. A problem is only a problem if you don’t have a solution. A problem with a solution, however, is a huge opportunity for growth, success, and greatness. Find the solution.
See: Do More Work Less by Mark Jenney
3. See the world from someone else’s point of view. You may find yourself frustrated with the performance of a co-worker, for example, and as a result, you may be tempted to complain about this individual. Instead, try to understand what that person has been going through lately, and try to understand the source of the behavior rather than judge what you see. Put yourself in someone else’s shoes, and suddenly, you’ll find that you have a lot less to complain about.
4. If it’s out of your control, let it go. There’s no use in complaining about something if you truly can’t do anything about it.
5. Spend time inside your own mind. Whether it’s a guided meditation, solemn prayer, or quiet reflection, take some time each day to be alone with your thoughts. Not only can doing this help reduce stress and keep you focused, but activities that are introspective in nature can help make you more conscious of your actions and help you rethink some of your less successful behaviors.
6. Behave as you wish others to behave. It’s Immanuel Kant’s Categorical Imperative in a nutshell, and it applies so perfectly to people who complain. If you find yourself wasting energy on this worthless activity, ask yourself: would you want everyone to complain about something, just as you’re complaining right now? No? Then stop.
7. Be grateful. Just because you’ve resolved to not complain doesn’t mean that there isn’t something you could complain about. It simply means that you’re committed to acknowledging the good and not frittering away your energy on the bad. Count your blessings , and you’ll realize how lucky you are and how good your life really is.
8. Accept and embrace change. It is, after all, inevitable. Resistance to change leads to a lot of ongoing complaining.
9. Really need to vent? Do it to a trusted person who is at least a few steps removed from the matter at hand. It may not do you any good to complain about work to a coworker. For starters, he or she may complain right along with you instead of simply lending you a sympathetic ear. And more than that, anything negative you say about anyone else in the office could easily get around on the grapevine. Instead, talk to a friend who isn’t involved, talk to a therapist or counselor, or talk to a family member. Venting is good from time to time, though you want to be able to maintain a modicum of discretion.
In a world where many people find it easier to have a lengthy bitch session than actually work to implement solutions to problems, it can be tough to stop complaining. However, once you make a conscious decision to quell the negativity in your life, you’d be surprised at how quickly you turn those useless sour comments into positive and productive ones. Like complaining, being positive can not only become a habit , but it can become an inspiration to others. Stop complaining. Start living.